Sunday, June 25, 2006

What a relief this day brings.

We are one week closer to Tim's completing boot camp.

Other than when I grieved for my mother, I have not felt so torn. Even though Tim is alive his absence is paramount everywhere I look. I was asked today if Tim was our baby. No he is not, but we came very close to losing Tim when he was 15 months old. Out of five children, Tim was the only one that was not a surprise. I don't want to sound woe-is-me with these blogs, but I want to adequately describe the very real emotions and the struggle each day brings so that other moms will understands that their feelings are not unusual. If fact they are very real, very long moments in your life that crawl toward an unknown destination. And THAT unknown factor is what blackens the core of your heart and makes you crippled emotionally and phsysically with fear even when you trust the Lord, which I do. I cannot comprehend how an unbelieving parent could go on without the assurance of who holds my hand and who has put a hedge around my believing son.

As I sat in the Worship Service I realized my feelings are minute compared to how God must have felt when He was separated from His Son, and when His Son was a sacrifice for me. He gave up His ONLY Son to allow us to be free. WHAT A SACRIFICE. WHAT A SAVIOR. WHAT A GOD. The Bible says the sky turned dark at Jesus death. I firmly believe it was a reflection of God's grief for his Son all because of His love for me. Agape'. Unconditional love.

Marine moms, take heart. We can encourage each other. Our children are in the most powerful nations military. They are noble soldiers. Even when the defeat one tickles us with doubts and fears, stand firm, stand strong, stand tall but most of all stand boldly before The throne of God for intercession for them, because they are in the hands of our God. Hebrews 7:25

Thank you God. Thank you Jesus. I believe in your outstretched arms.