Monday June 19, 2006

No one walked by my bedroom last night and called out “good night, I love you”.

No alarm clock from Tim’s room startled me awake.

It is 5:30 am and somewhere you have been up for an hour. You should be boarding a bus right now for MEPS. (Military Enlistment Processing ?)

I struggle to go back to sleep to no use and get up and go downstairs to see what is on television and check my email. Nothing except the usual political jargon. Where is the Paul Harvey of the news media? Someone I can trust to tell it truthfully less the sensationalism. Who cares what Brittany is doing or Jolie-Pitt for that matter?

Okay. Now what? Pick up dirty dishes from the den and loaded them in the dishwasher, check email, again. Post resume on a couple of sites. (*What are you doing now?) Laid out cube steak from freezer. (*What are you doing now?)Now it is 6:00am. Take a shower. (*What are you doing now?)Get dressed. (*How about now?) Brush teeth. (*Now?)

Time creeps by.

Can’t seem to focus my mind on the scriptures.

God help me!

He did, as always.

I repaired some holes in your wall from all your Marine posters. Sanded. Andrew helped me remove some screws and nails from old blinds. Next step, dusting. This room will require at least three coats of paint to cover the male abuse. Don’t worry. You will still have a room here, just a cleaner more neutral one. I can use it as a guest room while you are away. I think blush is a wonderful color. Just kidding. Taupe, yeah, that’s it.

I started cooking some dried beans and ham and wondered if your were hungry or sleepy. God be with him.

Andrew and I had a few teary moments.

Routine things are a struggle. I should call some clients. I should clean the bathroom. I should clean the dining room. I can’t move. I can think of what you might be facing. It immobilizes me. God help me.

On and on the day goes, praying God helps you, and then, asking God to help me. My cell phone rings as I am cooking the cube steak. It is a client. We work out color schemes, time frames and price. I hang up and finish cooking. I sit down to eat. I can’t swallow. For some reason my food sticks in my throat. I wonder if you are hungry. Cube steak is one of your favorites. Oh well, we don’t have A1 so we are doing without too! No comparison. Gold help him.

Sometime around 7:15 my cell phone notifies me of a pending message. I call it.

“This is recruit Dye. I have arrived at Parris Island. Please do not send me any food or bulk packages in the mail. I will be sending you a postcard in 3-5 days with my address. Thank you for your support and good bye.”

HUH?

How did I miss your call?

Why are you speaking so robotically?

I am so mad that I missed your call that only later do I realize it is recorded and I can replay it over and over. I still would have liked to tell you how proud I am and how much I love you!

I notified the family you had made it safely, and cry.

I write you a note I cannot mail yet, and cry.

I sit down at my computer and try to make sense of it all. And cry.

Timothy Joel Dye (TJD)

Timothy Joel Dye (TJD)=Trusting Jesus Daily(TJD)

Okay, I needed that.

To get through this I am going to have to trust completely in God. So I take out a colorful stack of small post-it notes and print TJD on every page. I stick them everywhere. Medicine cabinet, glass cupboard, refrigerator door, laundry room etc. Your daddy calls me psycho. No, it is prayerful. Call me a fanatic. Call me a zealot. I don’t care, I will continue to tug the ear of God for help.